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瓜农打死也不说的秘密

发信人: smoothly (潜水不冒泡), 信区: WaterWorld
标  题: Re: 瓜农打死也不说的秘密!
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Wed Jun 18 23:55:44 2014, 美东)

德国工程院院士死也不说的秘密。

二战时苏军占领柏林，一个德国瓜农请一小队苏联红军吃西瓜。结果这一小队苏军神秘
惨死。这个案例引起了德国科学界的高度重视。经秘密调查，原来德国瓜农在抢苏联人
吃西瓜之前，先将拍西瓜鉴别成熟度 的方法交给了他们。苏联人就照猫画虎拍个没完。

其实拍西瓜危害是很大的。稍有工程背景的人都知道共振的概念：当一个空腔的尺寸合
适，里面就可以存储大量的辐射能。拍西瓜本身利用的是声学上的原理，根据声波（也
是一种辐射！！）在西瓜中的传播特性来判别西瓜的生熟。殊不知，拍西瓜的同时，人
手上一些不好的微波辐射（尤其癌细胞分裂时释放出来的！！）也会被转移到西瓜里面
。这个时候微波和声波在西瓜的共振作用下被相互放大，最后把毒素全部转移到西瓜的
瓜瓤里面，形成高度致癌的物质。

自从发现了这个秘密后，德国人现在从来不拍西瓜。和德国人比起来，美国人受中国移
民的影响，现在也逐渐开始拍西瓜了。难怪美国的癌症发病率逐年增高！（xi x4）

现代科学如此发达，日新月异。难道就没有解决之道了吗？中国人就不能用传统的方法
，象大叔一样猥琐的拍西瓜了吗？？ 非也！ 科学表明，用iphone拍西瓜就可以事半功
倍。（ask）
一方面iphone的手机辐射可以正好和声波抵消，毫无致癌的顾虑。另一方面用著名的名
为PAIPAI(Smoothly LLC)的app来辨声音。更为精准的声音取样，比较和给出两组数据
paipai alpha 和paipai beta。paipai baobao是指从1到10的西瓜成熟指数，而paipai
beibei 则给出从A到E的甜度指数。您便可以从容的选出想要的西瓜。
从此广大猥琐男们就可以于美女从中潇洒地拍西瓜。技惊四座，一排定情。
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