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经典冷笑话7则


1. 教授在河边看到两只乌龟缩着一动不动。问一农民：它们在干吗？ 农民说：在PK。 教授不解：动都没动过P什么K。 老农说:在比谁寿命长。教授说：可是壳上有甲骨文的那只，早就死了啊。这时，另一只猛然探出头来骂到：MD，死了也不吭一声。另一只也伸出头来：“SB， 专家说啥你信啥！”

2. 在酒店吃饭,我席间内急,服务员热情地说;我们酒店没有卫生间,你可以去对面公厕,我们和
他们有约定,到那你就说你是’吃饭的’!

3. 我幼儿园看猫和老鼠！小学一年级看哆啦A梦！二年级时神龙斗士看了不下3遍！三年级足球小子改变了我们的生活！四年级迷恋柯南！五年级小樱强势来袭！六年 级知道了宫崎骏的剧场版！而现在的孩子呢！一年级喜羊羊！二年级喜羊羊！三年级喜羊羊！四年级喜羊羊！你五年六年级还喜羊羊！！

4. 哥几个合资要开一家公司，为了彰显公司的牛逼，特取名“能力”！“能力公司”听着多霸气啊！兴高采烈地从工商局拿回执照，哥几个傻眼了，只见执照上大大地写着“能力有限公司”。

5. 小师妹那天早上电话我说，“刘翔输了，但场面很暧昧，有个黑人一直想拉他的手，跑完了，还在第一时间，一把扑上去紧紧抱住刘翔…” 我汗，这个世界真是属于腐女的。我问她：你没看别的？ 她说：有啊，我还看到那黑人胸前有个拼音，写着“粗吧”。 刹那间，场面更YD了。

6. 最后两栏，再不行动，下一次再见又不知是何年。萝卜丝把手伸向翔，被甩开了。最后一栏，他鼓足勇气再次试图牵起翔的手，然而，翔却依旧无动于衷。最后，萝 卜丝赢得比赛，却没有赢得他的心。13秒14，赛场的大屏幕上最终打出了萝卜丝的比赛成绩，望着那个默默离去的红色背影。“我会等你，1314”

7. 现在的孩子一般3，4岁就被家长送进幼儿园了，一般都是妈妈去送。
有 一家幼儿园开学时，许多孩子被送进了这家幼儿园，家长走后，孩子那个哭啊闹啊！简直跟宰猪场差不多，可是有一个小孩蹲在墙角巨蛋定，老师走过去准备好好夸 一下他，老师刚走进他，那个小孩以迅雷不及掩耳之势，抢过老师手机，连号码都没拨，拿起手机就对着手机哭喊着：“爸爸，快来救我啊！我被妈妈卖了” 当时老师那个汗啊！
 
 
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