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2011年度网上最新最火段子

1. 给自己个英文名字,叫压力山大。

2. 自从得了神经病,整个人精神多了。

3. 旅行就是从自己活腻的地方到别人活腻的地方去。

4. 消防车再不来,火就要灭了。

5. 养鱼挺麻烦的,每周要换一次水,我经常忘记。后来,就只好每周换一次鱼了。

6. 这个世界上最恐怖的事情不是恐怖分子劫持你,而是菲律宾员警去救你。

7、世界上最遥远的距离是,我们俩一起出门,你去买苹果四代,我去买四袋苹果。

8. 面对中石化、中石油、中海油同时提价,中地沟油明确表示暂不跟进。对此,广大群众纷纷赞扬:这才是真正负责任、有良心的央企。

9. 现在无房无车无妹子的三无宅男有新名称:低碳哥。

10. 新草本纲目: 尿频喝三鹿,胸平喝圣元,体毛过盛用霸王。

11. 人固有一死,或死于麻疹,或死于麻疹疫苗。

12. 三部国产大片最精一句话影评:现在的男人们,白天是非诚勿扰,晚上是让子弹乱飞,结果有了很多「肇事孤儿」

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