成功的人能超越自身，客观看待事物，并管理事物以塑造改变

他们能接受其他人的观点，而不是固执己见。他们能客观看待自身（包括自己的长处和弱点）和其他人，从而可以将正确的人安排在合适的位置，以实现他们的目标。如果你学会了这么做,你会发现几乎没有什么是你无法实现的。你只需要学习如何面对自身所处的现实，并把你能利用的所有资源用到极致。例如，假如作为设计者和管理者的你发现，作为工作者的你某件事情做不好，你就应该解雇这个作为工作者的你，找到一个好的替代者，而在此过程中你必须一直作为自身生活的设计者和管理者。如果你发现自己不擅长做什么，你不应该为此难过，而是应该为发现这一点感到高兴，因为知晓这一点并妥善应对，将提升你实现自身愿望的可能性。

如果你发现自己不能把所有事都做到最好，并为此难过的话，你就太幼稚了。没有人能把一切都做好。你会让爱因斯坦加入你的篮球队吗？如果爱因斯坦运球和投篮做得不好，你会看不起他吗？他应该为此感到耻辱吗？想想爱因斯坦会在多少领域无法胜任，再想想即使在那个他独步全球的领域，他付出了多少努力才变成如此优秀。 

看别人如何苦拼，让别人看你如何苦拼，会引发各种自我情绪，如同情、怜悯、难堪、愤怒、戒备等。你需要克服这一切，不再把苦拼视为负面的东西。人一生中最好的机会大多数来自苦拼的经历。苦拼是对人的创造性和个性的考验，你应该从这些考验中挖掘出最大的价值。 

面对自身缺点，你有4种选择： 

1.你可以否认缺点（这是大多数人的做法）。 

2.你可以承认缺点并应对缺点，努力把缺点转化为优势（能不能成功取决于你的自我改变能力）。 

3.你可以承认缺点并找到绕过缺点的方法。 

4.或者，你可以改变你的目标。你如何选择对你的人生走向至关重要。

第一种是最不好的选择，否认只会导致你不断地栽在自己的缺点上，不断经受痛苦，而不会有其他结果。

第二种选择，承认缺点的同时努力把缺点转化为优势，如果能成功的话，这也许是最好的做法。但有些事情你永远也不会擅长，改变也需要花费很多时间和精力。如果要用一个标准来判断你是否应该沿着这条路走下去的话，最好的标准是看你要做的事是否符合自己的特性（即你天然具有的各种能力）。

第三种选择，承认缺点的同时努力想办法绕过去，是最容易、通常也最可行的道路，但这是走的人最少的路。

第四种选择，改变自己的目标，也是一种不错的选择，但这需要你有很大的灵活性，能够克服自己的各种先入之见，努力找到和你匹配的目标并享受新的过程。

They can take in the perspectives of others instead of being trapped in their own heads with their own biases. They are able to look objectively at what they are like—their strengths and weaknesses—and what others are like to put the right people in the right roles to achieve their goals. Once you understand how to do this you’ll see that there’s virtually nothing you can’t accomplish. You will just have to learn how to face your realities and use the full range of resources at your disposal. For example, if you as the designer/manager discover that you as the worker can’t do something well, you need to fire yourself as the worker and get a good replacement, while staying in the role of designer/manager of your own life. You shouldn’t be upset if you find out that you’re bad at something—you should be happy that you found out, because knowing that and dealing with it will improve your chances of getting what you want.

If you are disappointed because you can’t be the best person to do everything yourself, you are terribly naive. Nobody can do every-thing well. Would you want to have Einstein on your basketball team? When he fails to dribble and shoot well, would you think badly of him? Should he feel humiliated? Imagine all the areas in which Einstein was incompetent, and imagine how hard he struggled to excel even in the areas in which he was the best in the world. 

Watching people struggle and having others watch you struggle can elicit all kinds of ego-driven emotions such as sympathy, pity, embarrassment, anger, or defensiveness. You need to get over all that and stop seeing struggling as something negative. Most of life’s greatest opportunities come out of moments of struggle; it’s up to you to make the most of these tests of creativity and character. 

When encountering your weaknesses you have four choices: 

1. You can deny them (which is what most people do). 

2. You can accept them and work at them in order to try to convert them into strengths (which might or might not work depending on your ability to change). 

3. You can accept your weaknesses and find ways around them. 

4. Or, you can change what you are going after. Which solution you choose will be critically important to the direction of your life. 

The worst path you can take is the first. Denial can only lead to your constantly banging up against your weaknesses, having pain, and not getting anywhere. 

The second—accepting your weak-nesses while trying to turn them into strengths—is probably the best path if it works. But some things you will never be good at and it takes a lot of time and effort to change. The best single clue as to whether you should go down this path is whether the thing you are trying to do is consistent with your nature (i.e., your natural abilities). 

The third path—accepting your weaknesses while trying to find ways around them—is the easiest and typically the most viable path, yet it is the one least followed. 

The fourth path, changing what you are going after, is also a great path, though it requires flexibility on your part to get past your preconceptions and enjoy the good fit when you find it.